Can't We All Just Get Along

So, I'm super late, but I got word that Young Jeezy and Rick Ross, two of my favorite dudes from down below, have beef.

1) Who uses the word "beef" anymore, unless youre at a wedding and they ask you what you want for dinner?

2) I dont know about you but, there's plenty of room in my Ipod for the soothing sounds from both fellas. Well, that's not true because my Ipod is full at the moment, but if it wasnt, thered be room.

3)Who still has beef with another artist? That is soooooo 1999. Get with the times boys.

4) They really need to squash this beef, get together and try to get rid of those folk who are making a mockery of my beloved tunes from the south. I dont want to mention any names but it starts with a Soulja and ends with a Boy. Really.


That's pretty much my thoughts on the situation. My last piece of advice, and weve all heard these words before: "Seriously, get over it who gives a sh*t". Oprah status advice right there.

MTV, I'm ready

OOOOhhhh Lawdy. If there were ever a week in which my el has been superbly effed, it has been this one. Just going to cut to the chase here. So, here goes ahem :clearing throat:

1) Saturday night I'm out at this spot, minding my business, doing my same ol' two-step, when this girl, who was dancing as if it was her last night on Earth, knocked me in the back of the head with her teeth. Yes, with her teeth. Who does this happen to?? Oh yeah, me.
2) Most of you know that Sundays are my day to do nothing but be a waste of space, eat and watch tv. Best day of the week. Well, this past Sunday, I got my lazy butt up and went to a water park. I know, the girl who cant swim going to a water park just screams "BAD IDEA". Long story short, get on the first ride, I get knocked in the head so hard that my contact popped out and my face swole up, days later I get a killer headache and can't walk without almost tipping over, go to the Dr (surprise, surprise, I went to a Dr.) and he tells me.....I have a mild concussion. WHO THE EFF GETS A CONCUSSION AT A WATER PARK???? Oh yeah, me.
And finally:

3) These meds the Dr gave me say : No alcoholic beverages. I mean, what is this dude trying to do to me? I think I've read enough Web MD to know that consuming an alcoholic beverage or two is okay. Psh, dont need no 10 years of med school to diagnose something.

The point of all this was just to a) give you a guys a little chuckle ( hey, even if youre laughing at me, youre laughing) b) have you be glad youre not me and c)prove that I really need my own reality show. C'mon dudes. Long overdue.

By the Power of Grayskull

These past few months have really brought some light and uncovered things I think I knew about myself, but had no idea. (That phrase will never die) I'm sure most of you who know me, know me, like really know me, knew these things already but let me just confirm. Here goes:

1) I am really the master of covering my feelings. Many of you have heard the "I'm laughing, but I'm really pissed" before. Prime example. Not sure why when I get really angry I start to laugh. Life mystery.
2) I am the master of letting things bother me forever and pretending like I don't care. Although a chosen few do get to hear my "wtf?"s. So special.
3) I am the master of saying " am I wrong?" And btw most of you know, I'm not most times. You love it.
4)I am the master of letting my pride get the best of me. I know, I know, I KNOW.
5) I am the master of ;). Ah I kid.
6) I am the master of listening. People tell me their problems. Friends, coworkers, strangers, the lady in Duane Reade. I'm not quite sure why, but, I'm there for ya babes. This leads to being the master of all masterness......

7) I am the master of keeping secrets. If I had a quarter for every time someone said " don't tell anyone, but.." I'd be living in a beach front condo in Miami with my yacht parked out front and all the Yoohoos my little heart desired in my fridge. Tell me something and you kids can rest assured that I will take it to the grave. Even if you make me mad and I start hating you more than Oprah, that bitch.

So yes those have been my discoveries. Many of you are probably saying "duh we knew this" and I did too, I was just in denial. Sue me.
PS I'm totally being the Spanish cocoa She-ra for Halloween. Score.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Question of the Day

When it comes to relationships, "relationships" and relations with the opposite sex, why in the name of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints do people feel the need to be so concerned in what goes on in the lives of others?

If anyone can give me an answer to this I will....do nothing but say "thanks!". Hey, a little politeness goes a long way.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Ninja Please

Some of you know that I am very hesitant on giving my phone number out to dudes. Call me picky.

Anywho, long story short, Friday night dude approaches me, I gave him my number, dude calls me the next day....at 8:59 am.
Let's figure out all the things wrong with this.
1) He called me. I mean, I know the dude doesn't know me, but really I barely pick up the phone for people I know (if I do pick up your calls or call you back consider yourself special), let alone a stranger. This is why the phone gods invented text messaging, hellooo.
2)He called me at 8:59 am. I have and do have conversations with people at this time, but its with people that I've known for more than one hour.
3) He called me at 8:59 am on a Saturday.

I think that this is a pretty good little example on what dudes should not do if they want a girl to call them back. I also think its a pretty good example that backs up my theory of the rarity of a normal dude ever approaching me. The proof is in the pudding kids, can not make it up.


PS Dude has also been calling me everyday since last Friday. I don't know about you, but if someone doesn't answer me after the second call, I'd pretty much think that they're never going to answer me. I totally mustve been a puppy killer in my past life.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Thats Way Harsh Tai

As some of you know Ill be journeying (is that a word?) many miles away in a week and have been informed that it is quite expensive to use my beloved Blackberry out there. Very expensive. This means I will be mia from FB, Twitter and BBM for eight whole days. EIGHT. WHOLE. DAYS. May as well be a million.
Will be quite interesting to see how long it takes for my thumbs to start twitching and I start rocking back and forth like Chris Rock in New Jack City. Maybe I wont miss it at all. Ah who are we fooling, Ill probably slip and come back to roaming charges up the wazoo.

PS Ill miss you kids (some of you) but you know what they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Sometimes.

Um yeah so...

I used to heart Chris Brown, then I hated him, then I hearted him, then went back to hating him. I know, I can never make up my mind. While I do still kinda hate him because I think hes a pathetic loser ( "tell us how ya really feel!") I must say this video is, well....ya know.