What Happens in Vegas...

Even though I vowed never to go back that God forsaken city Im being "forced" in a way sooo..Im goin goin back back to Vegas Vegas.

Why did I vow never to go back to that city again? Well, I'm glad you asked. For those of you who arent aware of why Vegas is now highlighted and starred on my list of things and people I have a love/hate relationship with, here goes.

Last February, I went to spend a romantic Valentines Day wknd in LA and Vegas with my cousin and her two best friends. Not very romantic but this is what single gals do on that dam holiday. We rented a car and drove the four hours through the desert..much of which looked like it was a scene out of The Hills Have Eyes..scenery and people ( hey Hillbillies).

We got to Vegas and noone was more excited than me. I love it there. Why, idk, but I do. We did the usual girl on vacation thing in the hotel room ( you know the playing music, dancing around, pregaming, taking 3 hrs to fix your hair put a dress and some blush on thing. Yep dudes, this is why we take so long to get ready in groups.) and then went off to Prive at the Planet Hollywood. Place was packed, had a few drinks, a few two -steps and when the feet couldnt take it anymore we decided to leave. And this is where the real party began.

Along with my cousin, I decided to check my coat. (For those of you who think Vegas is all sunshine and heat, it is NOT. Effin BRICK in the winter. Like cold. ) We got to the coat check and I did the one thing every mother warns you about, I put my purse down. Grant it, it was right infront of me, but it was down. I gave the coat check whore (who was a prime suspect, more on this trick later) my ticket, she gave us the coats, I turned around to give my cousin her coat, turned back grabbed my bag and left.

We walked out of the hotel, to the car and got back to our hotel in a about 10 minutes. Getting out of the car I realized my bag felt a bit light and noticed the little purse (dont ask about my purse within a purse thing) with my phone, ID and CCs was gone. I went back to the car, not there. So i asked the least drunkest person to drive me back to the hotel where the club was at to see if maybe I had dropped it back at the coat check. I get to the coat check walk up to the girl said "Excuse me did you see.." without even lettin gme finish she replied "NO" and walked away. I was like okay thanks bitch.

Usually I would just have been like "EFFIN SHIT" and been bummed and annoyed and just gone to sleep, but seeing as how I was in a strange land and had a couple drinks in me, the water works began. Those of you who know me know that I do not cry unless someone dies, gets married, am to the extreme point of ultimate frustration or watching Extreme Home Makeover (gets me everytime). And I mean water works like Niagra Falls status. Noone seemed to notice or care that a girl was standing in the middle of a casino wearing a club dress, hoodie and flip flops. NO ONE.

So me and my crying ass and my partner in this CSI drama went back to the hotel. I managed to stop the tears and call the bank to cancel my debit card. Party gets better from here.

The bank guy decides to tell me that $950 has been taken out of my account and "your moneys gone your not getting it back" Yup just like that. More tears insued. Some hiccuping this time too. Im sure some of you wouldve paid to see this. Called AMEx to cancel my card and the AMEX guy decides to tell me that a charge of $1000 has been made at the Planet HOllywood Casino and a cash advance of another $1k was attempted. Please note this was all within a matter of half an hour. Yep,so while I was standing at the bottom of the escalator next to the ATM a Melissa J. Ferman imposter was taking money out of my account and having a field day at the Black Jack table. Maybe they had better luck than I wouldve.

The next day was spent at the Las Vegas police precinct. BIGGEST FREAKS IN LIFE. Really the strangest people youll ever see. There was a bullet hole in the glass, a guy next to me whos ex wife was outside stalking him while he was there trying to put a restraining order on her, a volunteer worker who was about 512 yrs old and was quite amused that it was "poppin" in there ( yes she said that), a guy whos brother went missing from a casino, and 4 other people with my situation there. I cant make these things up.

After about 4 hours at the precinct and filing reports at the hotel, we drove back to LA. Me moneyless, ID less and phone less.

The next morning my uncle drove me to LAX to catch my flight back home. I get to the airport around 9am and notice that there is no line at my check in area. The fiesta continues.

I walk up to the ticket lady inform her I have no ID but do have my police report (just an FYI if t his fun stuff happens to any of you, if you have a police report they have to let on the plane even if you have no ID. Just a fun fact for ya) She proceeds to inform me that my flight has been cancelled and I can either take the 2pm to JFK or the 4pm to LaGuardia. It was 9am. I chose to take the 2pm to JFK and used the many quarters I had to call my mother and let her know that I was gonna sit in the airport for the next 5 hrs. At this point I was pretty sure that I would go down in the record books as having the worst luck life. The phrase FML was probably invented because of me.

So, I sat in the airport, walked around, charged my camera and just when thoughts of running out on to the runway and letting a plane runover me came across my mind a fabulous thing occured. I heard the words "Christopher Brown please report to gate.." bla bla bla watever gate it was. I was like suure. A few minutes later, a tall dark and strapping young fella comes running at the speed of light past me and to the gate. Yes, it was my future baby daddy ( pre domestic abuse days). Of course I had no phone to let anyone know of the great event that just occured, but hey , I know it h appened.

I got on my flight, got home safe and sound and went straight to bed anticipating a day of getting a new license and debit card and phone calls to the Vegas police precinct. Just when I thought the party and fun was over, I woke up the next day sweating and feeling liek someone was pinning my body down to my mattress and I couldnt get up. Hellooo 103 degree fever and flu. And I thought my fun had stayed in Vegas.

In the end, I got my money back, the charges to my AMEX were dismissed, the AT & T people felt bad for me and gave my a new Bbberry for $100 and I saw Chris Brown. Ah its the little things in life.

The moral of this story kids is to never put your purse down and be grateful that these things dont happen to you, but they do happen to me and you all get quite the enjoyment out of my misfortunes. Its okay, thats what I'm here for to spread love and joy. Just like Santa.