Too much to ask? Apparently so

Every so often, my friends get on a "let's find the mac to Melissa's cheese" kick and for the first time in a long time, I'm all for it. Blame it on the...not sure, but we'll find something, I'm sure. While this may seem like an easy task, according to them, its quite a difficult one.
Physically, the "Melissa" types are all over the place. Personality wise, I think they are out there, but others beg to differ. So here's what The Ferm wants ( Forget Chili):

A non-flashy, retardedly funny, simple, normal dude who's like me, but a bit different. Oh, and one who's got enough class for wine, but can handle Patron. Again, just like me. (Aahhhha...kidding. Oh Fab and his one liners)
According to friends and acquaintances, this type of dude, in this city, is the hardest to find. I mean, really.
Well, the task is on, and we'll see how this mission ends. In the meantime, I guess you can tune into VH1 and keep watching Chili be the pickiest mofo this side of the Mississippi. That's a whole 'nother post. Don't get me started.
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Aaaand this song....

Mannnnnn ooohhhhh mannnnn, this was my jam. Say what you want, but Keith Sweat and his 2 songs were the shieett. Seriously.

And this song...

Was my first introduction to Young Jeezy. I remember it just like it was yesterday. Prive, Miami, Labor Day Weekend 2005. BEST. WEEKEND. EVER. EVER. EVER. This song was just the icing on the cake of fabulousness. Ah, love at first listen.

This song....

Can make even the hardest of hearts turn to mush. Yes, it's in me.

'Cause your Famous boy....

Here's the story:
I have a friend, we'll call her....friend. Friend has a "friend" who she used to "talk" to (good ol' HS term) but does not "talk" to anymore, yet they still occassionally talk. (If you're smart, you got that, if not, go ask the person who did) Now, while friend has made some progress, a bit of the crush on her "friend" still remains. This past weekend, friend learned that her "friend" has reunited with an old "friend", prompting friend to hit a speedbump in her " ffffkkk that ninja" road to recovery. Oh, friend :/. Friend's friends and un-biased parties have told friend to ignore her "friends" conversations, but friend would rather her "friend" think that all is peachy-keen so she chooses to not ignore her "friend".
The moral of this rambling is: nobody listens, so save the advice. Friend was told from the very beginning of her "friendship" with "friend" that no good was going to come from it, yet friend went ahead and is now in a fried pickle (most amazing food ever, anywhoo). For some reason when it comes to relations with the opposite sex, even the smartest of people get stuck on damn stupid. Sad life.
If you have a friend like friend, or are friend, the only advice I can give to you is: nothing. Absolutely nothing. No matter what anyone tells you, nothing will help until you get over it. I know, I can really give Dr. Phil a run for his money.
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Party, party, let's all get....where is my purse?

This past weekend, I was not so sober for two days in a row and from what I was told and from what I remember, I realized that I am "That" girl. Who is "that" girl? Well, I'm glad you asked. "That" girl is:

-that girl who, every song that comes on, is HER song.
-that girl who enters her own dance world and thinks she's got the skills of Janet Jackson
-that girl who loses at least one belonging during her unsoberness
-that girl who you just have to look at and she starts cracking up. Well, I think I do that sober too.
And worst of all :
-that girl who loves everyone. You'll never hear me tell you that you are my most favorite friend in the whole wide world unless I've had some a few glasses of the devil juice in me.

Now, I've been going out for the past seven years and have gotten drunk before and yes, I am just now realizing this. While I think this is all eff em el status, many of you have gotten much amusement out of seeing me in this state, so I guess its okay. Just please, all pictures and videos must be ran by me first. Please.
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Out with the old, in with the new

Ah, what a year in the life of me. If I listed all the things that I've learned this past year along with all the things that have happened,this post would prob go down in the Guiness Book of Records as the longest post in history and who has time to read all that?

This past year I went thru a lot of FML's, made friends, lost "friends", reunited with old ones, learned things about myself, learned things about others, left a job, got a new one and went thru some stuff in between. Exhausting year physically and emotionally. The biggest lesson this year may have taught me (and I'm going to get serious for a second) was to take chances and not fall into the trap of regret.

Whether its in matters of things having to do with money, friends, love, "love", new ventures,just go for it kids. Things may not always turn out the way you'd like but, like my mom always says "You'll never know if you don't try" (yes, took me 27 years to listen to this). If you what you end up knowing makes you want to risk lead poisoning and stab a pencil into your big toe, just take it as a lesson learned and keep it moving.

And that was that for the gayest post of all time. Hoppy New Jear :)