"Where do you find these people?"

I have not shared the news with all, but I got a new job. I am currently working in the HR department for Ricky's. Not my dream job, but its on my list of things I dont mind doing, mainly because during this season I get to make fun of people. All.Day.Long. I really dont know where these people come from and how they survive in life. Im not exactly splitting atoms either, but I have a brain enough to pass judment on these people. You would too.
You see their geniusness especially when they are filling out paper work and calling the office. Here are some examples of the Einsteinness Vanessa and me encounter all day long.
On the phone:
Boy:" Hi, can I speak to Vanessa?"
Me:"Sure where are you calling from?"
Boy: Pause..Pause..Pause.."My cellphone?"

Boy:" Hi how can I apply for a job?"
Me:" Go into a store and fill out an application"
Boy:" But the stores closed!"
Me:"So go when its open"
Boy:" Oh, Okay"
Okay, I couldve been a bit nicer.

Me:"Hi thank you for calling RICKYS this is Melissa speaking"
Girl:" Hi is this Party City?"

When filling out paper work here are things we have seen..I can not make these things up:

Status (Here any normal person would put Single or Married): Dating, boyfriend, girlfriend, single :(. unmarried, never married, ?, x

Emergency contact (Here any normal person would put who you want us to call God-Forbid something happened and what that person is to you): 911, relationship:"good", relationship: "baby daddy", relationship :none

Date of Birth: Whatever their birthday is, year :2009, on more than one form

Questions weve gotten:
"I dont have a real Social Security number yet, can I use my fake one?"
"Ive been walking up and down the block and cant find the store. Does it say Rickys?"
"Do you have cameras like allll over the store?"
"My probation officer has to call you, is that okay?"


Again, I can not make these things up and while I do get annoyed at all the dumbness and have lost faith in the NYC public school system, it gives me quite the amount of entertainment throughout the day. Party Time.