Since this is annoying...

Melissa's random, r'tard thoughts have now moved to Tumblr. Find me sons.

http://melushkasblog.tumblr.com/
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"WORD" of the day: ....they say love and insanity are somewhat related....

My boy Ne-Yo and my dude Fab bring you this lovely little diddy for all you crazy kids in love/like aka the time of acting like a r'tard. Happens to us all. Song is kinda old but I just recently started listening to it, so shadup.

...jumped in a wishing well/now wish me well....

While I do love all types of music, it's no secret that down-home, country, gravy soaked tunes are my favoritos. I grew up in a house full of pure Whitney Houston, Motown, Juan-Gabriel, Lisa Lisa, The Doors and Rolling Stones genre loving people, so I'm not sure when and how this happened, but it happened.
While this song has been out for a minute, whenever I hear it , it's like the first time all over again. Yep, the "dammmmm son,hot dawg, this shiz is the truuuf" feeling. Or maybe that's just me.

Corn of the day

If you know me, know me, really know me, you know that I have a thing for sappy love songs. If you don't know me, well, now you know something about me. Anywhoo, I love this dude and this is def my favorite song off of his album. If you don't have it, get it. NOW. Like right now.

Family Affair

I learned a few days ago that my four year old cousin is into Dragonette. She may be following in my footsteps as being the most random gal out here.This is def her favorite.

Beam me up Scotty

Sweet song, good video, cute dude, now if we could only do something about those glasses....

Just 'cause

I love this song and im diggin this image, so if anyone can get me this imagine in picture format to frame, holla at a girl.

And the first winner of the "Truuuuue Truuuue *Melissa voice*" Award goes to....

Whoever retweeted this on Twitter (yep, shout out to you Mr.Mrs Tweetnonymous, because I forgot who it was):

"Whatevers meant to be will be and that shit will be however it may be"

Yep. Not gonna lie, I read it really quick and I'm sure my face had "say whaaaa?" written all over it, but I got it....afterwards. If somethings meant to happen kids, it will happen. Whether it be related to a job, friends, "friends" or whatever.
Now, this doesn't mean to just sit back and chill and just see if stuff happens, but if you try and try and don't succeed, then it just means it wasn't meant to be-->(Melissa's mix tape of Dr Suess-esque raps dropping soon)

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This song

Song came on my Ipod yesterday and I totally forgot about it. Brings back some memories. P.S Mario, whered ya go?

Tell 'em why you mad son...or don't

I'm not really one to get mad at people and when I do, ya dun done something sheisty, in my eyes at least. This came up in conversation the other day and debate on what's the best way to deal with your annoyance with someone.
I, personally, choose to ignore and cut contact with a person for a period of time, as opposed to lashing out on the person or letting them know why I'm upset. Dumb? Maybe, but that's just how I do. (Unless you are a repeat offender, then I'll be sending you a nice, loooooooong e-mail) If you're a person that I speak to frequently and one day I just stop reaching out to you,or if you contact me and I give you two word answers, odds are, momma's not a happy camper.
Others say, its best to just tell 'em why you mad son. Just tell 'em.

Topic is open for discussion. All opinions of the non-psycho, non in need of anger management are welcome.
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He's heeeeere

and I still hate your team. The Knicks could put Lebron, Wade, Howard, CP3, Rose, Kobe,Melo, Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy and Jesus himself all on one team and I still would not like them.
Good player tho and while a bit too thuggish for my taste, he aint too harsh on the eyes. I know, its about the game, bla bla.

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Too much to ask? Apparently so

Every so often, my friends get on a "let's find the mac to Melissa's cheese" kick and for the first time in a long time, I'm all for it. Blame it on the...not sure, but we'll find something, I'm sure. While this may seem like an easy task, according to them, its quite a difficult one.
Physically, the "Melissa" types are all over the place. Personality wise, I think they are out there, but others beg to differ. So here's what The Ferm wants ( Forget Chili):

A non-flashy, retardedly funny, simple, normal dude who's like me, but a bit different. Oh, and one who's got enough class for wine, but can handle Patron. Again, just like me. (Aahhhha...kidding. Oh Fab and his one liners)
According to friends and acquaintances, this type of dude, in this city, is the hardest to find. I mean, really.
Well, the task is on, and we'll see how this mission ends. In the meantime, I guess you can tune into VH1 and keep watching Chili be the pickiest mofo this side of the Mississippi. That's a whole 'nother post. Don't get me started.
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Aaaand this song....

Mannnnnn ooohhhhh mannnnn, this was my jam. Say what you want, but Keith Sweat and his 2 songs were the shieett. Seriously.

And this song...

Was my first introduction to Young Jeezy. I remember it just like it was yesterday. Prive, Miami, Labor Day Weekend 2005. BEST. WEEKEND. EVER. EVER. EVER. This song was just the icing on the cake of fabulousness. Ah, love at first listen.

This song....

Can make even the hardest of hearts turn to mush. Yes, it's in me.

'Cause your Famous boy....

Here's the story:
I have a friend, we'll call her....friend. Friend has a "friend" who she used to "talk" to (good ol' HS term) but does not "talk" to anymore, yet they still occassionally talk. (If you're smart, you got that, if not, go ask the person who did) Now, while friend has made some progress, a bit of the crush on her "friend" still remains. This past weekend, friend learned that her "friend" has reunited with an old "friend", prompting friend to hit a speedbump in her " ffffkkk that ninja" road to recovery. Oh, friend :/. Friend's friends and un-biased parties have told friend to ignore her "friends" conversations, but friend would rather her "friend" think that all is peachy-keen so she chooses to not ignore her "friend".
The moral of this rambling is: nobody listens, so save the advice. Friend was told from the very beginning of her "friendship" with "friend" that no good was going to come from it, yet friend went ahead and is now in a fried pickle (most amazing food ever, anywhoo). For some reason when it comes to relations with the opposite sex, even the smartest of people get stuck on damn stupid. Sad life.
If you have a friend like friend, or are friend, the only advice I can give to you is: nothing. Absolutely nothing. No matter what anyone tells you, nothing will help until you get over it. I know, I can really give Dr. Phil a run for his money.
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Party, party, let's all get....where is my purse?

This past weekend, I was not so sober for two days in a row and from what I was told and from what I remember, I realized that I am "That" girl. Who is "that" girl? Well, I'm glad you asked. "That" girl is:

-that girl who, every song that comes on, is HER song.
-that girl who enters her own dance world and thinks she's got the skills of Janet Jackson
-that girl who loses at least one belonging during her unsoberness
-that girl who you just have to look at and she starts cracking up. Well, I think I do that sober too.
And worst of all :
-that girl who loves everyone. You'll never hear me tell you that you are my most favorite friend in the whole wide world unless I've had some a few glasses of the devil juice in me.

Now, I've been going out for the past seven years and have gotten drunk before and yes, I am just now realizing this. While I think this is all eff em el status, many of you have gotten much amusement out of seeing me in this state, so I guess its okay. Just please, all pictures and videos must be ran by me first. Please.
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Out with the old, in with the new

Ah, what a year in the life of me. If I listed all the things that I've learned this past year along with all the things that have happened,this post would prob go down in the Guiness Book of Records as the longest post in history and who has time to read all that?

This past year I went thru a lot of FML's, made friends, lost "friends", reunited with old ones, learned things about myself, learned things about others, left a job, got a new one and went thru some stuff in between. Exhausting year physically and emotionally. The biggest lesson this year may have taught me (and I'm going to get serious for a second) was to take chances and not fall into the trap of regret.

Whether its in matters of things having to do with money, friends, love, "love", new ventures,just go for it kids. Things may not always turn out the way you'd like but, like my mom always says "You'll never know if you don't try" (yes, took me 27 years to listen to this). If you what you end up knowing makes you want to risk lead poisoning and stab a pencil into your big toe, just take it as a lesson learned and keep it moving.

And that was that for the gayest post of all time. Hoppy New Jear :)

Good-bye Flow

2010 was definitely the year of the annoying catch phrases and words. Well, annoying to me. Listed below are a few words and phrases that I would prefer not to see on my timeline or FB feed:

-Flow ie gym flow, city flow, aquarium flow-Stop it. Unless you are a girl and you're talking about your you know what flow. Actually, no, you shouldn't be sharing news about that flow on any social network.
-Zoo- unless you're actually going to the zoo
-Movie-unless you're actually going to see a movie
-putting "tho/though" after everything you say, especially when it makes no sense. ie "The Knicks tho", "this snow tho", "My iguana tho"-Stop it.

-Posting "rise and grind" every morning-unless you work at Dunkin Donuts and are literally rising and then grinding some coffee beans

and last, but most certainly not least:


-asking people if they are fancy..huh?-unless...unless nothin

So, my friends, please start fresh this upcoming year and find some new words and phrases to exhaust. Weezy's back, I'm sure you'll find plenty.

Tick, Tock

I came across this article the other day while reading "Glamour" (see, I read) and was pretty interested to see what tips they gave on how to get over that dude that you just can't seem to shake off, no matter how bad you'd like to. Yes, we've all been there and if you say you haven't, you.are.a.fibber. Basically it went like this (all my own interpretation of course):

-thou shall not contact the dude via social networks, texting, phone, e-mail, skype, Ichat, FB chat, telegrams, walkie talkies, nada. If the dude contacts you, you do not reply. Ever. Good.

-thou shall delete dude from all social networks. This means removing contact from phone, FB, Twitter, Kik (oh yeah you can't do that..that shit is basura). Basically removing the dude so that you won't be tempted to look at his page and see what he's up to. Good.

-thou shall not be in denial of the lingering of feelings for the dude. According to the article, whatever kind of relationship you had with the dude, whether he was your eff buddy who you caught feelings for or your bf of 79 years, throwing out the "I'm fine, who cares" attitude is the first step. Yes, good.

-thou shall avoid places that may bring possible contact with the dude. Yes, good.

While all these tips seem helpful, my opinion (you want to know? Yes, great): this is all a bunch of bollocks. If you're anything like me (which I know I'm a unique case, but there are many folk out there who share my...special thoughts) you'll know that deleting a person or ignoring them if they contact you doesn't really help all that much.

Its like a mosquito bite. Just because you put some ointment on and cover it with a band-aid doesn't mean you still can't see it and feel that bite from Satan's creature itching like all holy hell and no matter how much someone tells you not to scratch it, you're gonna do it anyway until you realize that it's not such a smart idea and...in time, it goes away.

So, the moral of all this (because like those stories from Greek philosophers, my posts all have a moral):
The only thing that helps kids is time. Time, time, time. No matter what anyone tells you, Papa Time is really the only one that can help you out. Also, always keep in mind the words from one of the wisest men on the planet :"On to the next one". Yes.
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