Just keepin it real son, sons, kids, whatever

Last week I posted a Tweet on girls bashing dudes and how I am against it and quite the backlash from some of my fellow females. No hate mail, just "oh please you would do the same". I think its pretty safe to say, I would not.
I find it extremely pointless to go on angry tirades on how dudes are this and that and how they should all die or get attacked by a cheetah, reason being ya just look dumb and immature. Do I think that there are dudes out there who are this and that and should get attacked by cheetahs? Of course. Well, maybe not attacked by a cheetah, but I do believe and have come accross some d-bags in life. I just think that by a girl Tweeting or posting FB statuses regarding a dude, it really does not help a situation and frankly, no one cares.
I am big believer numero uno in being the bigger person and not posting all my bidness on these social sites so maybe this is why I think all this is just nonsense.
It sucks to be burned by a dude,believe me, I know. But do like the man HOV says and on to the next one. Ah such a scholar that man is.

Miss Movie Phone gives it aaaa.......

Finally. I've been anticipating this movie's arrival for quite some time and was extremely excited to go see it. Ive loved the cartoon version for-ever and even read the book. Yep, I read. (PS for those of you who dont know, the book was really about a girl on Acid. Yep, fun fact for ya)
While it wasnt GREAT, i'd have to say, in my opinion, it was pretty good. If youre not a fan of the Disney version and don't really know the story, it may not be as good for you. My boy Johnny Depp and my girl Anne Hathaway did their things and there were some funny parts in it. While it got a bit corny towards the end, if youre an Alice in Wonderland fan like myself i'd say go see it. If you do see it, and dont like it, dont kill the messenger, thanks.

Here we go again

Here go the Friday night chronicles again. You missed it, I know.
Friday night started out all honky dory (I heard that in a movie once and have always wanted to use it. I'm not quite sure why). However, we all know my Friday nights would not be complete unless an "only Melissa" event occured.
So, I was driving on the Van Wyck and all of a sudden my car started making like Thomas the Engine and slowly chugging its way down the middle lane. I recall saying out loud "greeeat juust effin great". The car ended up shutting off, leaving me stranded in the middle of the Van Wyck about 15 minutes from my house. Ah so close. Suprisingly, I remained quite calm,called my brother and told him what happened in which the reply I got was "omg you're such a retard".Ah sibling love. While I thought it was the battery that died, turned out the gas tank was empty. (Before you give me an "omg duh,in my defense the needle was not below E so how was I supposed to know). I sat there waiting while people honked at me like animals. What they wanted me to do, I'm not sure. Trust me people, if I had Superman strength and was able to pick up my car and move it over, I wouldve. Longer story short, my brother came, gas was put in the car, I went home and basically did a nose dive onto my bed.
While this situation did merit a FML, I learned a few valuable lessons:

1)Always put gas in your car. I thought I knew this already, but guess not.
2)Always pee before you leave somewhere. I thought I knew this also, but guess not. I must say tho, if there was an award for pee holding, ya girl here would win gold.
3)Be grateful to have siblings. While my brother is a pain in my ass sometimes, I am thankful to have someone to call at all hours of the night to help a girl out. Aww. Barf.
And last but not least
4) Never rub your eyes while wearing black eyeshadow. I got home looking like a lost cast member of the Incredibles. If anyone noticed this and didn't tell me. Dead.

PS seeing as how the weather is getting warmer, the "old" Melissa will be resurfacing and I'm sure there will be plenty o' more stories like this to come. Yay for you.
PPS I would also like to give a shout out to the girl in the picture above. Talk about not being able to hang. Someone should also tell her that she needs to invest in underwear. Thanks, bye.

Negative Nancy party of one

Negative Nancy, Debbie Downer, bla bla, yes Ive been called it. Ever since I was a little baby child I have never been one to get super excited over things until they happen. Some may call it negative, I call it being realistic. In my mind the less you get excited over something,the less dissapointed you'll be if it doesn't happen and who likes dissapointment? Once things do occur, do get excited and know it and really wanna show it? Hell yeah. Those who have witnessed my being excited about something know its quite entertaining.
Do I rain on people's parades when they get prematurely excited? ( I know, that sounds funny. shush)No. So please don't rain on mine when I want to live in my Negative Nancy moment. Thaaaanks.

Soooooooo....

Those of you who know me, know me, know that I rarely ever get excited about things until they are set in stone. (Blog on this to come) but there is a very high chance that I am...going to Italy bitch! Ciao, tutto bene, dove poso comprare il biglietti di treno and all that good ish.
More details to follow, if it happens. There goes my Negative Nanciness.

It's not you, it's me

I was observing myself and wondering why it is that I find humor in so many things that I should not find humor in, such as the misfortunes of others. By misfortunes I mean people falling, slamming into things, being just plain wierd, etc. The answer to this would be : you would do it to me too. Yep, that's my justification.

Those who know me and have spent time with me know that I am one clumsy ass mofo and have awkward and embarrassing things happen to me all the time and everyone laughs, soooo what-ever. Some may call me mean, but I just call those people boring. I would also like to add, if I was this nice, sweet girl, life would just be no fun now would it?

Yo momma

In conversation with two of my homegirls these past few days it has been brought to light that I am stubborn, impatient, chicken shit and oblivious. Aint gon' lie, I am all these things. I can't help it people, this is just how God made me. Deal with it. That's really all I wanted to say. Smooches.