Here we go again

Here go the Friday night chronicles again. You missed it, I know.
Friday night started out all honky dory (I heard that in a movie once and have always wanted to use it. I'm not quite sure why). However, we all know my Friday nights would not be complete unless an "only Melissa" event occured.
So, I was driving on the Van Wyck and all of a sudden my car started making like Thomas the Engine and slowly chugging its way down the middle lane. I recall saying out loud "greeeat juust effin great". The car ended up shutting off, leaving me stranded in the middle of the Van Wyck about 15 minutes from my house. Ah so close. Suprisingly, I remained quite calm,called my brother and told him what happened in which the reply I got was "omg you're such a retard".Ah sibling love. While I thought it was the battery that died, turned out the gas tank was empty. (Before you give me an "omg duh,in my defense the needle was not below E so how was I supposed to know). I sat there waiting while people honked at me like animals. What they wanted me to do, I'm not sure. Trust me people, if I had Superman strength and was able to pick up my car and move it over, I wouldve. Longer story short, my brother came, gas was put in the car, I went home and basically did a nose dive onto my bed.
While this situation did merit a FML, I learned a few valuable lessons:

1)Always put gas in your car. I thought I knew this already, but guess not.
2)Always pee before you leave somewhere. I thought I knew this also, but guess not. I must say tho, if there was an award for pee holding, ya girl here would win gold.
3)Be grateful to have siblings. While my brother is a pain in my ass sometimes, I am thankful to have someone to call at all hours of the night to help a girl out. Aww. Barf.
And last but not least
4) Never rub your eyes while wearing black eyeshadow. I got home looking like a lost cast member of the Incredibles. If anyone noticed this and didn't tell me. Dead.

PS seeing as how the weather is getting warmer, the "old" Melissa will be resurfacing and I'm sure there will be plenty o' more stories like this to come. Yay for you.
PPS I would also like to give a shout out to the girl in the picture above. Talk about not being able to hang. Someone should also tell her that she needs to invest in underwear. Thanks, bye.