My favorite time of the year has come kids: skirt weather. The first tightsless night of the season def was one to remember. A lot of times events that occur on these nights are "you had to be there" moments and may not seem so amusing to you, but it amuses me to write about them so just use your imagination. Here goes.
"Can I take a photo?"
My homegirl and me decided to grab a slice of pizza before we went into the spot because I was starving. I know, what else is new. As were sitting there, out of the corner of my eye I notice these two dudes staring at us. Sadly they were not good looking and were superbly strange. All of a sudden one of them comes up to me about 2cm away from my face, pokes my shoulder, and says in a heavy accent "you beautiful". Thanks bro. We chuckled and decided not to get up right away even though something was telling me we should. Always go with your gut instincts kids. Always. I never listen to mine, but you should. About two minutes later his homeboy comes up to me, again so close to my face that I could see every pore on his skin, with camera in hand and goes "Can I take a photo with you?" (Insert BBM straight face) Maybe he was drunk. Oooor maybe he was retarded. Oooor maybe they dont have dark skinned girls where he comes from. Ah so many possibilities. In any case, I said "um NO" and shot out of that place like a skirt wearing bat out of hell. Moral of this story: If a weird European dude ever speaks to you, you run, run like hell. Unless you like that sort of Pepe Le Pew thing, than knock yourself out girl.
"Her voice is giving me a pain in my head"
My homegirl and me were sitting on the couch and all of a sudden a group of girls stands infront of us, one of them with a voice that sounded as if a wild beast was dying in the woods. I mean, I know its not her fault, but girlfriend go get some speech therapy or something because that voice could drive anyone to jump off of the roof. Moral of this story: It's not people's fault that their voices are annoying. That's just how God made them. Still doesnt make it any less annoying.
At this point I was observing somethings and realized bitches is cuhrayzee. I already knew this but this night it was just confirmed. That was the moral of that one sentence. Anywho...
"Slurp, slurp"
I was walking to the bathroom and as I'm walking in this dude goes "hey ma" and makes a slurping noise into my ear. I don't know about you, but a dude slurping into my ear is not really not going to make me stop in my tracks. Moral of this story: Spitting in someones ear and calling them "ma", not a good pick up line.
"Melissa, you did it AGAIN"
Why, sweet baby Jesus, WHY. I'm not exactly sure why these things happen to me. I'm nice to kids and to old people, I say please and thank you, I try to keep myself out of drama, I recycle, and still the embarrassment gods find a way to always get me. While I really do not get embarrassed that easily ("you have no shame" ha), there are occasions in which I thank God for my caramel complexion because it prevents people from seeing the shades of red my face could be turning. Oh yeah so back to the point of all this rambling. I went to say bye to my friend, why I went around the dj booth to the other side, I have no clue, but I said my goodbye and walked right along my merry way. I get to the elevator and my homegirl says "MELISSA! YOU DID IT AGAIN" I write it in caps because she said it to me as a mother was scolding her little child for writing on the walls with crayon. I just blankly looked at her and said "Did what?" completely clueless. Well my friends, if youve read a post I put up a few months ago in reference to me kicking the power cord next to the dj booth.....eureka, I did it again. I was less embarrassed this time because I didnt realize I had done it and was on my way out of the place but I still wanted to go home and throw myself under the covers and not come out again. I think I'm just going to appoint one of the guards to keep me away from the booth and next time just throw a paper airplane that says "bye" on the inside. Moral of this story: there is no moral, just some more proof that I'm a r'tard and should maybe just stay home.
After this, we went to some other spot in which the music was dope, but the people all looked liked coked out zombies who had just discovered the fist pump. Nothing happened to me here, except that my phone battery died and I was highly annoyed because I hate driving with no phone. We all know why ha.
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