Ah everyone's favorite day of the week. While nothing embarrassing happened to me this week (maybe the Let's Embarrass Melissa gods were on Spring Break) and things looked like they were going to be a snoozer, the evening did prove to be quite eventful. A lot of things were "you had to be there" moments, so for those who were there ya 'nahmsayin. For those who were not, use your imagination, thanks.
Here we go in almost chronoligical order.
"If I had to choose between all three of ya'll.."
Some man came up to my friend asking her lord know what. He looked a bit like Bernie Mac with glasses and a flat top. Hotness. He then starts to speak to all three of us letting us know that he was an agent and was here with his client, a model, and just wanted to let us know that. I'm sure my night would not have been complete if he had not given me that piece of information. He then tells us that we are all beautiful and if he had to choose between us he would not know what to do with himself. He can go home and thank Jesus that we made the decision quite easy for him. He came to check on us through out the night which made my night a lot better. Sike.
"On to the next one"
Some of us know that this is ma jam. I'm there singing along, doing my two-step when all of a sudden some guy who was rockin out dancing around like that UPS guy from Mad TV puts his face about an inch from mine singing along as well. My face must have spoken a thousand words because my homegirl turns to me and says "that looked painful". Hey, I'm all about the singing along to HOV, but please do it a little bit not in my face, especially if you've got Corona breath.
"Youre gonna regret this"
Some dude starts talking to my homegirl and her face screamed pure agony, so I went over to try and diffuse the situation. He kept talking didnt notice I was there, which maybe I shouldve been thankful for. His friend comes over to me and tells me he wanted to talk to me but was waiting for his friend to annoy my friend a bit more and then he could make his move. This made absolutely no sense, but not gonna lie, I did laugh. Anonymous dude and I had a brief convo involving his being shocked of my ethincity, mine being shocked at his, his trying to figure out what famous person I looked like and my trying to remember what his name was. (For the record, I still dont remember and I was 95.98 percent sober at this point and would like to shout out Mr. Anonymous for being non-annoying and a cool dude. Sorry for not remembering your name.ah well) His friend was still annoying my friend, then started talking to me (yay) asked me a few questions then left. Praise the lord. I took this opportunity to excuse myself and "go to the bathroom". While I thought my friend had followed, I was mistaken. I come back and see her talking to Mr.Anonymous and his ever so charming friend. They finally excused themselves and my homegirl let me know that Annoying San Annoying, asked for her number, she declined, leading him to tell her that she was going to regret not giving it to him because hes the shit and he never gets denied. For some reason, I really doubt that, but a boy can dream. I do want to thank him though for providing some entertainment.
"You dont have a boyfriend? something must be wrong with you"
This dude comes up and starts chatting up my homegirls and me lord knows what we were talking about but he asked if I had a boyfriend. I said no. He asked why. I said I dunno. He asked if I was okay with that. I said yes. He again asked why. I said I dunno man. His reply "You dont have a boyfriend? Something must be wrong with you." I didnt take offense to this and actually thought it was pretty funny, but didnt show it. Instead he got the BBM Straight Face. He did get some points for telling me that he liked my outfit. Nice save. Kinda.
"You ever f*kd with a n*gga from down south"
Why sweet baby Jesus, why? This really has no story to it except for that this dude came up to me and asked me if I wanted to dance with him, I said no I'm okay thanks,he then asked if I've ever effed with a n*gga from down south before. He got the famous Melissa "can you please get away from me face" with a side of "um no". He asked if I wanted to try I did the "pretending to text in an awkward situation" thing which gave him the hint to leave. I saw him talking to about 9 other girls and did leave wondering if any of those girls had accepted his invite to fk with a n*gga from down south. Odds are if they did, they were probably a bit under the infuence.
"You have nice hair"
No story to this either but I would like to shout out to the dude who told me this. No nonsense chit chat just gave the compliment, a salute and bounced. He made me thankful that I spent all that money on my new curling iron and conditioner.
And last but not least:
"Bitch, were going out!"
Ah , I cant really explain this one but shout out to Diana and her amazing "Melissa you just need to..." chats. This was a def "you had to be there" moment and one that has had me laughing all weekend. If anyone wants a demonstration of this conversation I will gladly take .45 seconds of my day to show you. Ohhh Di, ya kill me lol
I would like to thank Friday for providing quite the entertainment on most nights. I do go out other nights and things are always happening, but this particular day for some strange reason always provides the most blog material. I will try to figure out this mystery and let you kids know. Im sure your lives will all be complete.
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