"Learn Something New Everyday"

We've all heard the phrase and yep, its true. Well, maybe we don't learn something new everyday, but pretty often. You may sometimes not even notice you're learning things but, you are. I happened quite a few things this month ( I know its only the second week of August but, its been quite eventful). So here is a list of a few things I've learned this month. You love my lists, I know.

1) Water parks are dangerous
2) Not all funnel cake is a piece of heaven
3) Sometimes you'll ask a person a question, if they don't give you a direct answer, there's your answer. If you know what I mean, you'll know what I mean.
4) People can give you advice up the wazoo, but in the end, you're gonna do what you want.
5) Sometimes shyness can be misconstrued as bitchiness. It sucks but, that's how the Lord sent me down here, what can I do.
6) Running in high heels, unless you're Carrie Bradshaw, is NOT, I repeat, NOT ever a good idea. I don't wanna talk about it.
7)Urban Outfitters really has the dopest shirts ever. For guys. Talk about discrimination. Not all girls want a shirt that says "Bonjour le Parie I love you" on it. Really.
8) No need to dwell on things that have already happened, no matter how much it bugs you. What's happened, happened, can't change it so keep it movin'. Who needs Dr. Phil when ya got me?
Aaaand finally

9)I shoudlve been a weather..woman. These dudes can say whatever the hell they want and they are still employed. If I have to carry my umbrella one more time without seeing an ounce of precipitation I'm going over to Mr. G and slapping him with it. Seriously.

Aaand that is pretty much it so far. Months not over, so I'm sure ill be able to update this soon. You're excited, I know.
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Can't We All Just Get Along

So, I'm super late, but I got word that Young Jeezy and Rick Ross, two of my favorite dudes from down below, have beef.

1) Who uses the word "beef" anymore, unless youre at a wedding and they ask you what you want for dinner?

2) I dont know about you but, there's plenty of room in my Ipod for the soothing sounds from both fellas. Well, that's not true because my Ipod is full at the moment, but if it wasnt, thered be room.

3)Who still has beef with another artist? That is soooooo 1999. Get with the times boys.

4) They really need to squash this beef, get together and try to get rid of those folk who are making a mockery of my beloved tunes from the south. I dont want to mention any names but it starts with a Soulja and ends with a Boy. Really.


That's pretty much my thoughts on the situation. My last piece of advice, and weve all heard these words before: "Seriously, get over it who gives a sh*t". Oprah status advice right there.

MTV, I'm ready

OOOOhhhh Lawdy. If there were ever a week in which my el has been superbly effed, it has been this one. Just going to cut to the chase here. So, here goes ahem :clearing throat:

1) Saturday night I'm out at this spot, minding my business, doing my same ol' two-step, when this girl, who was dancing as if it was her last night on Earth, knocked me in the back of the head with her teeth. Yes, with her teeth. Who does this happen to?? Oh yeah, me.
2) Most of you know that Sundays are my day to do nothing but be a waste of space, eat and watch tv. Best day of the week. Well, this past Sunday, I got my lazy butt up and went to a water park. I know, the girl who cant swim going to a water park just screams "BAD IDEA". Long story short, get on the first ride, I get knocked in the head so hard that my contact popped out and my face swole up, days later I get a killer headache and can't walk without almost tipping over, go to the Dr (surprise, surprise, I went to a Dr.) and he tells me.....I have a mild concussion. WHO THE EFF GETS A CONCUSSION AT A WATER PARK???? Oh yeah, me.
And finally:

3) These meds the Dr gave me say : No alcoholic beverages. I mean, what is this dude trying to do to me? I think I've read enough Web MD to know that consuming an alcoholic beverage or two is okay. Psh, dont need no 10 years of med school to diagnose something.

The point of all this was just to a) give you a guys a little chuckle ( hey, even if youre laughing at me, youre laughing) b) have you be glad youre not me and c)prove that I really need my own reality show. C'mon dudes. Long overdue.

By the Power of Grayskull

These past few months have really brought some light and uncovered things I think I knew about myself, but had no idea. (That phrase will never die) I'm sure most of you who know me, know me, like really know me, knew these things already but let me just confirm. Here goes:

1) I am really the master of covering my feelings. Many of you have heard the "I'm laughing, but I'm really pissed" before. Prime example. Not sure why when I get really angry I start to laugh. Life mystery.
2) I am the master of letting things bother me forever and pretending like I don't care. Although a chosen few do get to hear my "wtf?"s. So special.
3) I am the master of saying " am I wrong?" And btw most of you know, I'm not most times. You love it.
4)I am the master of letting my pride get the best of me. I know, I know, I KNOW.
5) I am the master of ;). Ah I kid.
6) I am the master of listening. People tell me their problems. Friends, coworkers, strangers, the lady in Duane Reade. I'm not quite sure why, but, I'm there for ya babes. This leads to being the master of all masterness......

7) I am the master of keeping secrets. If I had a quarter for every time someone said " don't tell anyone, but.." I'd be living in a beach front condo in Miami with my yacht parked out front and all the Yoohoos my little heart desired in my fridge. Tell me something and you kids can rest assured that I will take it to the grave. Even if you make me mad and I start hating you more than Oprah, that bitch.

So yes those have been my discoveries. Many of you are probably saying "duh we knew this" and I did too, I was just in denial. Sue me.
PS I'm totally being the Spanish cocoa She-ra for Halloween. Score.
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