Either Love Me or Leave Me Alone

Was having a conversation with a friend yesterday afternoon and the convo steered towards boy talk. I told her my most recent man dilemma and she says "We have to figure out why you can't a guy. You're pretty, you have a good personality, we have to figure it out" Naturally, I burst out laughing because she made it sound like we were trying to figure out a way to attain peace in the middle east. This lead me to really think about what the issues with myself may be that makes me like a disease (thanks Molly Ringwald for that line). Here's what I've come up with:

1) If there was a town called Shyville, I'd be the mayor- I am one of the shyest people you'll ever meet. I don't like being the center of attention and it takes me quite some time to warm up to people. Especially dudes. I have no problem talking to dudes via social networks, text, whatever but when it comes to being around them in person for the first time or even first few times, some kind of evil force comes over me that turns me into Awkward Alice. This leads into.....
2) Me having zero game. Zero, zilch, none.-Those of you who know me, especially if you've dated me, know that I fail in the flirting department. My way of flirting is similar to that of that kid in 2nd grade who used to pull your pony tail because he liked you. I tease guys, joke around with them and if am comfortable, just act like a plain ol' r'tard. Does it work? Sometimes, but obviously more often no then yes. This leads into....
3) Me falling rapidly into the "Friend" Zone-I have been told many times that I'm like a dude. While I do consider myself quite girly in some aspects( nails dun, hair dun, everything did) I can be quite the un-girl. I'd rather have wings than a salad for lunch, I laugh during horror flicks as opposed to being scared, my ghetto hand goes up in the air when Rick Ross plays in a club, I drop the F bomb more often than I should, I don't cringe at dirty jokes, when it comes to relationships I'm often the one who needs the space, am not clingy and I'd rather a dude buy me a DVD than flowers. Apparently, this pushes me into the "she's one of the dudes" category, which I think is okay, but others think not. This leads into....
4) Either love me or leave me alone. I could use to be a little more flirtatious and aggressive when it comes down to wooing the opposite sex, I'll admit and I'm slooooooooooooooooowly but unsurely trying, but at the end of the day, ya gotta either love me or leave me alone.( If you haven't notice that is my favorite Jay-Z song of all time). My friend's bf may have said it best: "you know when you start to dance with someone and its weird at first because you're both trying to sync with each other and sometimes it just doesn't work? You need to find that person who's automatically gonna sync with your stupid ass and get it".
El em ef a O. Man's a genius.
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Why Sweet Jesus? Whyyyyyy?

Yes, that is the question. No matter where I go I find that strangers are always talking to me. On the train, in Target, gas stations, everywhere. Whether it is to ask for directions or just talk about the weather, never fails, some freak is gonna start talking to me. Why? I'm not sure.
I don't think I look particularly friendly and try to look as bored and mean as possible in order to avoid this yet, it still happens.
Example:
Saturday night, it was around 3 am, walk into CV and head straight to the bar. As soon as we get to the bar some dude starts talking to my friend, dancing with her, we give her the thumbs up of approval and let her be. A few minutes later dude taps me on the shoulder and asks the "what's your ethnicity?" question. I tell him, he then goes on to tell me he's from Ohio and wanted to know if he could ask me a few questions for the paper he was writing. Yes, let's sit down and have an interview in the middle of a club with "Tootsie Roll" playing in the background. -_- Sadly, I think he may have really been writing a paper, but, my song came on so it was just not the time.
I'm really convinced that I have some kind of sign on my head that says "Everyone except cute dudes talk to me. Now". Gonna call Harvard and see if any of their students want to use me as an experiment and figure this mystery out.
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I'll be movin on (Mya voice)

Seeing as how I barely ever tell anyone anything, very few of you know that this is my last week in the world of Ricky's.
While I'll miss my coworkers, my "kids" and the freaks of nature that come thru the office, I am happy and excited to be moving on.
Thanks for the year and change full of laughs kids :)
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The answer is : pearls

Long story short, girl is asked to put down a 6 digit NUMBER (this is repeated about 5 times) as her pin for the register, girl writes: "pearls".

Not only are those not numbers, but the girl was probably sitting there for the entire orientation thinking of a word with six letters and of all the words in the world she chooses:pearls.

Oooooh lawdy, thanks for the giggles.
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First class seat on the Emotionally Retarded Express

I am emotionally retarded. I will be the first to admit it, never deny it and am surely convinced that it is one of my worst traits.
For some reason I have a hard time expressing my feelings unless under the influence of the truth serum (aka alcohol) or have reached the peak of Mount I've Had Enough ( the highest mountain in the land of Emotionally Retardness). On top of this, I can also have an extreme delayed reaction to things.
For example: there was a situation that ended and when it ended I just brushed my shoulders off and kept it moving. Now, weeks, almost headed into months later, I'm starting to feel the emotions of annoyance/semi-anger/borderline hurtness (if that's not a word, I just made it one). Those very few who know me, know me said they saw this coming and that I need to stop being the queen of fronting. I hate when people are right.
Maybe one day this will change or maybe this is just how I will be until the end of time. I'm betting on the second, but hey, miracles do happen.
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